Editor’s Note: We realize that ‘My Super Sweet 16: Exhiled’ is not a comedy in anyway. Regardless, Steve felt he had to say something about it. So why not. So here is a review for that mind-numbingly retarded show. If nothing else, laugh at these fucking people and their ridiculous behavior.

I’ve been duped. I’ve been had.  You got me, MTV. I fell for your smooth trickery.

For weeks, I had seen the previews for My Super Sweet 16 Presents: Exiled.  While the rest of the population saw it for what it was – a shrewd combination that exploits both spoiled rich bitches and poverty-stricken third world countries in order to bring us even more just-like-watching-a-bus-crash-you’re-a-worse-person-for-watching-this entertainment – I, for some reason, continued to believe that this program would have redeeming qualities of some sort.  I mean, think about it, what a perfect opportunity for MTV to do something culturally worthwhile.  They could have taken a News/Documentary approach and…oh…I dunno…TAUGHT US SOMETHING ABOUT FOREIGN CULTURES.

Instead, MTV takes a half hour (shocking, isn’t it, that it takes the same amount of time to show us the preparations of the ultimate birthday blowout as it does for one of these American princesses to acclimate to a completely different culture and lifestyle) to give us more formulaic dribble no more inspiring than an end-of-season clip show on the Real World. It goes something like this. Forgive me, I don’t remember the name of the girl featured in tonight’s episode, so I will just refer to her with pronouns such as “her” and “she.”  Here is a rundown of tonight’s premiere.

-    About five minutes of the family telling “her” that she is going to be sent to Africa.
-    What feels like an eternity of “her” spouting off “oh my god” and “no!” and “are you serious?” with statements meant to highlight her narrow-mindedness like “Will they have air conditioning there?” thrown in for good measure.
-    “She” prepares to go. “I’m bringing my jewelry just in case. And my hair dryer.” Yeah…I know…we get it…she’s dumb and selfish and doesn’t know anything about the world. But seriously. I’m supposed to believe she’d honestly think to bring a hair dryer to the desert?  Has she never seen what Africa looks like? At least one of those “dollar a day” save-a-child ads that they play all the time on late-night cable in between Cash 4 Gold commercials?
-    “She” leaves for Africa. Parents are sad to see her go. Tears are shed. Dad hurries out to buy a new Porsche to surprise her with when she gets back.
-    “She” gets to Africa. Hates it. Things are gross and different. “I have to walk four miles to get water?!” “I’m not touching cow poop!” “Agh! Ticks!”
-    “She” finally realizes, with about five minutes left in the show and a hasty denouement imminent, how to cope and find connections with the locals. Obviously, this means dancing and showing them her iPod and body spray, as opposed to any actual labor or work or cow poop.

What stood out here was Josephine, the eighteen year old African girl who served as “her” host and friend. I especially loved when the girl was griping about carrying a jug of water and saying that it “sucked” and was the “hardest thing she ever had to do,” and Josephine responded with a deadpan “Okay,” which I believe may be Maasi for “I’m gonna knock this white bitch out.”

At the end, Sweet 16 girl is treated to some sort of ceremony meant to celebrate her time spent there and the many lessons she undoubtedly learned. I was half hoping that it would turn out that unbeknownst to her it was actually wedding, and that she would forced to become bride of a warrior, live in a poop house, and stay in Africa forever. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

Sure, it sounds like a relatively satisfying show…watch these spoiled rich bitches get their come-uppance when shipped off to foreign lands to learn a thing or two about what it’s like to work and suffer. I’d be a lot more satisfied if they never came back. Instead, MTV has just given these girls exactly what they don’t need. More television exposure and completely unwarranted and inauthentic redemption. Like I said. I was duped.  Then again…it’s my own fauly. Why would I expect anything of substance from the network that brought us Tila Tequila, Room Raiders, Date My Mom, Next, Ex Effect, Dance Life, The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, From G’s to Gents, Cribs, 8th & Ocean, Fast Inc, Rob & Big, Run’s House, Twenty-Four Seven, Laguna Beach, The Hills, That’s Amore,  Newlyweds, The Ashlee Simpson Show, Celebrity Rap Superstar, Cheyenne, Maui Fever, My Own, Newport Harbor, Pimp My Ride, Pageant Place, Taquita & Kaui, Tiara Girls, There & Back: Ashley Angel Parker, and Yo Mamma?