Granted, it’s more my stupid fucking internet connection. Nevertheless, complain I shall!

You see I work with computers everyday. When I’m not wamboozlin’ people by equipping their websites with three-versions old wordpress codex [yeah that’s a website coding joke, fuck off] I’m wasting time tweaking this God forsaken site. Needless to say, I rely on the, I must repeat, stupid fucking internet to accomplish my job/jobs.

If this damned connection bleeps out again, I’m going to have to go Mike Tyson on my computer, meaning I will beat and rape it until my eventual arrest. Also kinda thinking about a sweet face tattoo. But that can wait, for now, I would just like my internet connection back.

On a side note, while typing this in Word, it prompts me to capitalize ‘internet.’ Why should I capitalize internet? Who is internet? It’s not a brand name or person, it’s a tool for committing credit card fraud and masturbation. You don’t deserve capitalization, internet.

Now I digress to my original gripe. Stupid fucking internet. I’m at a loss. What did people do before the internet? Nothing, that’s what. They rode on their old-timey bicycles to malt shops and shit. Drinking one drink with two straws, that kind of thing.

With that being said, my stupid fucking internet STILL is not up, and I think it’s about time to call these ISP chuckleheads. I’d sure be nice if they had not fucked up one connection while attempting, bassackwards, to set up another. But who am I to tell them how to be incompetent.

Now if my internet is back up, I will post this rambling rant. If it is not, you might catch me wild-eyed on a rooftop near you.