I’m constantly saying to myself, “I don’t see enough out-of-work, 90’s wrestling stars discussing politics on my late night cable shows.”  I thought my cries for equality would go unheard. Luckily, it was a slow news day, and Stephen Colbert, of the Colbert Report, interviewed Jesse Ventura, former wrestler AND former governor of Minnesota. That Minnesota is regular brain trust. Great decisions people.

The thought, and sight of him being on the Colbert Report, you’d think, would be funny enough. But that was before he opened his mouth. First off, he sounds like the mom from “Bobby’s World” after being kicked in the throat. He sounds like what I would imagine a mentally-challenge black bear sounds like.

I pray to God he wrote his own “jokes,” either that or Jim Belushi’s writing his material. Not even the stoned-out-of-their-minds, double-digit IQ crowd found it funny. At one point, he names 3 things the government “lied” to us about, then says “Three strikes and your out!” Jesus, that was so terrible it was painful. And seriously, only three? He could only think of 3. The average politician lies to their wife 15 times before lunch, and he could only think of 3? Yeah Jesse, hop in the ‘08 race. Sounds like you got the brainpower to debate my toaster. Don’t get cocky though Jesse, my toaster is smart as shit.

On top of that, look at what this moron is wearing. He is considering running for PRESIDENT in 2008, and he’s wearing a suit jacket with a t-shirt & jeans. You think Obama is going to show up at a rally in a wife-beater and a do-rag? Maybe Jesse was just trying to “connect with the people.” That’s fine and all, expect, he looks like a balding hobo that found a suit jacket.

Great find Jesse, I hope there was a half eaten sandwich next to that suit jacket, cause I wouldn’t count on that presidential salary.