I have been a fan of The Venture Brothers cartoon series on Adult Swim since its premiere in February of 2003.  The show went well with the original theme of Adult Swim, Hanna Barbara remakes, by playing off the Jonny Quest vibe. Even during the lengthy break the show took between initial seasons, I hoped […]

   After eating two pounds of stale Halloween candy I found under the backseat of my friend’s ’93 Geo Tracker I fell into a “little mini-coma,” as the kind doc at the free clinic put it. During those seventy-eight hours of sleepy sleepy fun-time, I met my power animal, conversed with Bill Hicks, and went […]

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"When I heard about it, I felt really hurt inside," said Special Olympics global messenger Dustin Plunkett. "I cannot believe a writer could write something like that. It’s the not the way that we want to be portrayed. We have feelings. We don’t like the word retard. We are people. We’re […]

This last weekend a buddy of mine called and said there was a garage sale that we couldn’t pass up.  I’m not your average garage sale junkie that wakes up at 4:00 am on a Saturday to find the holy grail of Tupperware, but I have found $30 jazz albums for a buck.  I asked […]

Spine Online’s author Alwishes McFinklestein’s list of animals he’d like to eat.

With all the hubbub surrounding the Beijing Olympics, a few local Chinese buffets have joined in the action by throwing their own special form of Olympic games.  Mr. Wang’s House of Potstickers has formed quite a formidable team of hefty eaters.  They challenged the folks over at House of the Rising Sun All Night Noodle […]

Dear Loved Ones,
    I want to take this moment to let you know that I do truly love you from the bottom of my heart, but you know in less than a month I will become the “devil’s bastard spawn” as Grandma put it so lovingly last fall.  College football season is merely weeks away […]

    I can understand suing someone for slander, libel, or chopping your dick off at a Wal Mart, but how the hell can you sue someone for making fun of your name when it’s a fucking monetary value less than a paper promissory note?  The grammatically correct term is 50 “cents” anyway.  There should be […]

A chapter from an upcoming work of Spine Online author Aluwishes McFinkelstein, brought to you by Sketchy Premise (It’s a Comedy Site)

The Honda Dream 50 cut through the heart of Houston with poetic precision to be parked in the den under the care of a demonic kitten.  We were a six pack deep rolling stoned to the concrete cage in which some like to vent their rage.  Deep blue walls punched inches in…hard outlines of mushrooms […]