There’s no easy way to beat around the bush, so I’m going to be blunt and straight to the point. If you rely on cable news networks or newspapers for your information, then you my friend are an idiot. Now before you get all pissed off and hop into your hybrid to track me down, […]

I’m constantly saying to myself, “I don’t see enough out-of-work, 90’s wrestling stars discussing politics on my late night cable shows.”  I thought my cries for equality would go unheard. Luckily, it was a slow news day, and Stephen Colbert, of the Colbert Report, interviewed Jesse Ventura, former wrestler AND former governor of Minnesota. That […]

Finding the person you will start a family with, love, and spend the rest of your life with, until your last earthly breath, is a challenge for us all. You know what makes it easier? Reality TV. What could be better than greed-driven corporate morons rounding up 20 strangers and putting them in booze-filled mansion […]

Apparently this is no secret, but I’m not like most people. Late night TV shows lost my interest a long time ago. To me, late night TV shows are a piss poor excuse of quality TV programming. By the time these shows hit the airwaves, I’ve already consumed enough alcohol that might keep an African […]

Now I’m not sure at what point of the trip this was, but I am relatively sure that it was at night. We had been carousing about, drinking since nearly noon, yelling at the occasional innocent bystander. You know, standard procedure. We were about 6 strong, wondering the strip, attempting to see which casino we […]

It probably has less to do with his heritage, and more to do with his wild unlike-ability. And maybe a little bit to do with how unapologetically piss-drunk I was.
So I’m leaving the final table at O’Sheas, the burger king casino, and I call my loser companions, which I just took out in the Poker […]

It’s 4:30am in Vegas, which is like Noon in Iowa as far as wackjobs & drunks being up and about goes. Until then, I was perfectly content sleeping off my Crown-and-coke headache, in anticipation of another ridiculous and alcohol- excessive day to come. The night before we had a drink-spillin good time at Circus Circus […]