Barrack Hussein Obama is all the rage these days. Young, old, black, white (guilt) everybody loves him. So does the thoroughly corrupt Chicago political machine and radical muslims, but that’s neither here nor there.

Every now and then I’ll stay up for days at a time. It’s not because I’m a skin picking meth head or anything. Think of it as a personal desire to be an insomniac at will. My case is different from most insomniacs. I do it because it makes me produce the comic gold.
First of […]

Nick Maranzano’s list of 10 favorite past times of emo kids.

It was about 2 am, and I was doing what I do best. Shotgunning beers and burning fire wood. My friends and I were on the beach, and we were up to no good. Thats the great thing about the beach. You can literally do whatever you want. You want to take the girl you […]

Two weekends back, I went to the Houston Art Car Parade. For those of you unfamiliar with the Houston Art Car Parade, it’s pretty much exactly like it sounds. A bunch (a bunch is kind of generous) people paint their cars with goofy shit, and drive it down the road. There are some really cool […]

1. You buy brand new pre-ripped, pre-grass stained, $150 designer jeans from a top retail outlet, drive your $35,000 Ford Explorer to a party or bar, then bum cigarettes and beer all night "cause your broke."
2. Within 10 Minutes of meeting someone new, you mention the ivy league school you attended for a semester (or […]

I’m constantly making my case on why midgets should become my butlers, but those little bastards know I’ll treat them like crap. It’s at the top of my policy called the Midgets for Slaves Act of 1982. That’s right people. I came out of the womb with it in my hand. Those nine months of […]

Granted, it’s more my stupid fucking internet connection. Nevertheless, complain I shall!
You see I work with computers everyday. When I’m not wamboozlin’ people by equipping their websites with three-versions old wordpress codex [yeah that’s a website coding joke, fuck off] I’m wasting time tweaking this God forsaken site. Needless to say, I rely on the, […]

Texas is my home. I’ve had my issues with the state, but I’ve come to realize that home is what you make of it. Sure, there are stereotypes when it comes to a lot of things. Whether it the ever so infamous argument that I have a horse, the irritating question of if I still […]

I’ve always wondered how different countries translate their language into English. Knowing a little bit of Spanish, which I hate to admit, I know that sometimes the words just don’t go back and forth so easily. Muy bien, which we all know is Spanish as very good, is also used in those pesky All employees […]